Dear XYZ,
After you and James spoke to me and told me that you have decided to get married to him I became very sad. The reason is to me it does not seem that he is the proper boy for you. When you were in Dubai also I explained to you that he is not the right boy for you but you are too much attached to him and I cannot understand why. You can get a very good qualified boy from India or in Dubai or in Canada itself.
A - Age – He is 5 years older than you. This is somehow OK. Though a 28 years old boy will be proper for you
B - Beauty – Mummy tells me that he does not have any attractive features. Even if a boy does not have money he has beauty that is something.
C - Character – He seems to be soft spoken and OK
D - Dowry – Financial Means – He does not have a good job and financial means. He is not much educated and so he does not have the potential to get a good job in the future.
E - Education – He is not much educated.
Either you get attracted to a person for his beauty or money or education and character, but when any of these things are not in a person why are you so much attached to him. I cannot understand. You think. I have given you a lot of advice. If he was well educated we could bring him to Dubai and try for a job. With his background I do not know what job he can get in Dubai.
Another thing you have to understand about the cultural habits of these English people. They are very passionate about love making and uttering sweet nothings, but at the same time they are not very resilient in withstanding the crisis and difficulties of life and are very quick to divorce when a relationship turns sour. That is why the rate of divorce is very high in their community. We Indians bear with one another and put up and carry on life. So please be aware of that.
When I got married my mother and father were dead against my marriage and they advised me so much and protested, but I was bent upon marrying and went ahead and you know very well how much I have suffered in this relationship and what life I have faced. My Mummy went to the extent of meeting the Parish Priest and Bishop and stopping the marriage, but I did not listen. Within one year of marriage when I was suffering so much I thought of all the advice my mother had given me and regretted as to why did I marry?
So I am advising you with a calm and peaceful mind to think whether this is the right partner for you. At least I am doing my duty and advising you so that tomorrow you should not say that you did not tell anything. When I was talking to James I diplomatically told him to postpone the whole thinking of marriage for one year and that will give you more time to think and decide if this is the right partner for you because I cannot directly tell him that I do not like you etc. At least one year of time will give you time to think. If you want to get married we can put an ad in the Dubai papers or Rakno and Poinari and look for a boy from the Mangalorean community. There are boys who are IT qualified and they can get a good job in Canada.
You see for yourself. We immigrated to Canada, gave you good education and you obtained a Canadian Graduate Degree so that you can live a good life after that. We paid all your fees directly and did not ask you to take an OSAP Loan so that when you complete your studies you will not have any liability on you. You are a Graduate, having nice looks and above average financial means and how do you like to get married to somebody who is nowhere near you.
Also, I do not have a business in which you and your husband can work. So all that I will leave behind for you is some savings which I have. This means you have to work and live by yourself and if you do not have sufficient financial means to carry on life it will lead to problems in life. So you think about this.
You do some calculations for yourself and see how much it will cost you to rent or mortgage a house and other expenses etc and how much money you both get on a monthly basis.
I advised you many times that you have to take up MBA Studies and better your job opportunities. You have to think of working as a Marketing or HR Specialist and improve your earning prospects.
So I will end up now and you think for yourself whether what you are doing is right. I have given you my advice and it is up to you to take it or not. At least one day if things do not go well you will not say that my Daddy did not give any advice.
With love and regards.
Your loving Daddy
